My last ever X Factor blog...

Week 2.

..until monday. I had a meeting today (Wednesday 31st August) with Archant London and as from next week my X Factor blog will move to their LONDON24.COM website. It has nearly a million unique hits each month so I'm really looking forward to it. They asked me if I could be a bit less grumpy and I said, “Sure, but that would require the world to be a bit better than it is.” Let's see what happens.

Last Saturday night ITV excelled at making a TV show that combined a real life story, talent and both visual and musical entertainment for all the family. I’m talking about ‘An Audience With Will Young’. It was quality viewing even for someone who is not a huge fan. Sadly this is an X Factor blog so let the grumpiness begin.

In summary, the show had a handful of talent. The Keys were the best on the night closely followed by a Craig Colton in his X Factor jacket. Craig has a unique voice but not sure it will carry through the live shows. The Keys were polished and interesting and the best vocal group in years so I can 100% guarantee that they are in the live finals.

The show opened with Johnny Robertson, a skinny gay guy in his mid 40s wearing a baseball cap. I thought that he was either going to be rubbish or sound like a woman. It was the latter. I was going to tweet “Johnny would make a great drag queen” but feared the wrath of Twitter’s Thought Police telling me I was homophobic. It turns out that our Johnny is indeed a drag queen playing in London’s clubs under the name of Sara Lee!

We've just learned that Louis Walsh has been given the over 25s so there is a good chance that Johnny will make the finals... as long as he dresses as Sara Lee. Remember, Louis gave us Wagner and Jedward so he is game for a laugh and this year I expect nothing less. I would love to see Johnny turn up each week in bigger and better dresses. He would pull in huge TV numbers and imagine the fallout from a wardrobe malfunction! That reminds me, I must take the banana loaf out of the oven.

The big talking point this week has been Derry Mensah a Burger King worker who has done time for mugging. He had a good voice but The Sun are obsessed with his back story and how he saved a friend’s life after a gangland shooting. They have shown great interest in him that leads me to believe he will be hailed as the bad boy done good and a positive role model for the disenfranchised youth of today. The subject of bloomin' X Factor being an escape from flippin' burgers is worth a blog of it's own. I look forward to hearing more of Derry's voice and less of his past.

For the second series running the X Factor casting couch has involved a man being asked to show off his abs while the female judges swooned and Louis drooled. Are they trying to make up for years of boob jokes in Carry On movies or Benny Hill? It just felt a bit dated like watching Bruce Forsyth asking Anthea Redfern to "give us a twirl". Surely it's not becoming The X Factor - Next Generation Game? Equality is fine but let's not go back to the 1970s to achieve it.

The show closed with a young girl called Misha Bryan who sang ‘Respect’. She had a strong voice like Maria Lawson from Series Two but as I’ve worked with some fine singers I don’t think she was unique enough. She was, however raised by her aunt and doesn’t know who her dad is which is sad. Sad, in as much as, it was used to build up what was an already impressive performance. I could almost hear people in their homes shout at the TV " Please don’t cry, please don’t cry!!! Oh crap… tears already and it's only week two.

Hey, before you have a go at me, at least I waited until boot-camp and even then, my emotional turmoil was due to hunger pains. My old Jewish genes can only wait so long for cake. (By the way, I have a great recipe for Chocolate Babka)

So there you have it. Loads of boxes were ticked. We had a drag queen, a reformed mugger, a teenager with no parents, a chubby kid with his loving chubby parents, a guy with great abs but no voice and a boyband.

Lastly, I'm going to quote a couple of the funniest X Factor tweets I get as from this Saturday night so start following @stevebrookstein and sharing your gags. I can't always reply but I do read them.

...and remember. I don't check my blog for mistakes, the wife does. Blame her for my errors, I do.

See you next week on LONDON24.COM

Steve Brookstein’s Grumpy Guide To The X Factor

Blog 1.

I know, I know. I said I wasn't going to do it but here we are again. A brand new X Factor but same ol’ Steve spreading his grumpy doom and gloom over Saturday light entertainment but wait, I have good news. The News Of The World will not be bringing you any SYCOphantic claptrap on Sunday.

Anyway, “Real” Winners JLS, Olly Murs and One Direction are all releasing product. Even the doe-eyed beauty Leona Lewis, who after all these years is unable to stand on her own two feet without the protection of The X Factor, is releasing a single. Alexandra Burke has a lower profile release in October and also we mustn’t forget Matt Cardle who is hoping to break the male winner unlucky streak. You know? Every male winner has been jettisoned from the Death Star.

Regardless of Matt’s fate, it will be a bumper Christmas for Mr and Mrs Cowell. He is still getting married isn’t he?

Last year I got into trouble with the mum of a One Direction member for stating the obvious but I’ve learnt my lessons and I hope that young man is having his. This year I’m going to be smarter. I will be a bit more constructive in my comments and if I feel the urge to be tactless I will vent my frustrations on someone over 40 with a small twitter fan base.

The brand new show is re-branded as “The Next Generation” because above all, it’s still about the judges. There’s a new generation of judges …and Louis Walsh. How does that awful little man keep getting the gig?

The big positive is Gary Barlow replacing Lord Vadar. How can I moan about Gary Barlow? You just can’t. He was the chubby one in Take That who could sing and write songs but lacked sex appeal while the less talented Williams took the girls and the Brits and happily rubbed Gary’s nose in it. So now, Gary is mature, better looking than ever, a bucket load of hits and we love him. He has been an instant hit. A little too much like Cowell but hey it’s Gary!!

Then we have three other judges but to be honest after they let Goldie Cheung through in week one with her erotic granny moves I’m not even going to give them a name check until they buck their ideas up. I know it’s telly but come on! It will only end in tears and anyway, I thought we weren’t going to give these people false hope anymore?

Let’s be clear the opening show had two objectives. Firstly, to introduce Gary Barlow as the new Simon Cowell - the judge you can trust as the voice of reason. You will be led to agree with most things he says while the other three make weird and wonderful comments that are obviously wrong. The second objective was to get the public to accept Cheryl Cole’s replacement and that was achieved by having a tone-deaf young man with anger issues called George abuse her in front of the nation. Terrible television but it got the job done …for now.

As for talent, there was nothing of any note. We have seen two possible finalists a boy who tattoos girls names on his bum which will get the teens going, and then there was a girl who sounds a bit like Katie Waissel but nice and more in tune. Neither will come close unless a relative dies during boot camp. Remember X Factor runner-up R Wayne?

No doubt there will be a couple of outstanding singers and as soon as I see them I will let you know but I think it’s going to be the youngest X Factor ever.

My early prediction: Too many X Factor acts so 2012 will see Matt Cardle, Alexandra Burke and Cher Lloyd go the way of Old Yeller unless they find that killer tune.

Finally, we’ve recently lost the amazing talents of Amy Winehouse, Nick Ashford and Jerry Leiber. My record collection and repertoire have both benefited from what they have produced. I regularly perform “All I Need To Get By” and “Stand By Me” and they will never feel the same again. Thank you for your contribution to music and my life. Rest in peace.

The Cowell bone's connected to the media bone and that's what makes propaganda.

“Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.” Winston Churchill

A new series of The X Factor is about to start but this year I don't think I will be writing much about it.

My world is crazy. One minute I get abuse saying I'm a "fail" and nobody knows who I am, the next I have a woman in M&S telling me she voted and wants me to do another album. The sad thing is that there are some really cool people on Twitter but I can't read the nice comments without reading "your a c**t" first. Which I usually respond with, "No, you're a c**t." They then are shocked that I am rude to a 16 year old and I in turn despair. (please no complaints from One Direction fans).

I took a hammering in the tabloids last year due to my anti-X Factor views. Words like “bitter” or “moaning” or “ranting” are all used within tabloid media with a sole purpose to make the reader switch off from the message that is NOT part of the official propaganda. You will often read them in an article about me. Check for yourself.

As many people know, I fell out with Simon Cowell in 2005. I did interviews with Closer and The Sun. Neither of these interviews were ever printed. I won’t tell you the details of the interviews but I can assure you that at the time it was big news. After the interviews I was told by the record label SYCO that I could no longer do interviews. My PR had also been moved to Outside Organisation. I had properly fallen out with Cowell so he decided to bury me. This is not paranoia it's a fact. I had a call from his PR man.

I was told, “ You will be buried if you speak to the press” and when I did an interview in 2005 with James Desborough of The News Of The World, it was no surprise that the story was stopped. James recently admitted this to me only a few weeks ago.

Simon Cowell has the power to get stories in the press but also to have them stopped. Let’s look at the people who were involved in the stopping of these interviews in 2005.

Neil Wallis, known as “ the wolfman” by journalists worked as deputy editor News of the World in 2005 and previously been at The Sun and The People. He later became MD of Outside Organisation. Arrested for phone hacking.

Rebekah Brooks - The Sun Editor in 2005 – need I say more!

James Desborough - News Of The World 2005 – showbiz reporter who did my exclusive interview. Arrested for phone hacking.

Andy Coulson - Editor of News Of The World in 2005. Arrested for phone hacking and also found guilty of bullying .

I continue to get negative press by the members within the tabloid press because the manner in which I left SYCO was a covered-up and to this day has never been acknowledged by the tabloid media.

Heat Magazine continue to write negatively about me because my original interview was with sister paper CLOSER.... well that and the fact I just won't shut up! Talking of sisters, Isabel Mohan who works at 3am.co.uk (proper c@*ts!) used to work at Heat is sister to The Sun Editor Dominic Mohan.

Now, I'm not suggest all these people are corrupt but the power of The X Factor and Cowell is so great that these people are willing to bury the truth if it may interfere with selling papers and The X Factor sells 1000s. I like to believe James Desborough wanted to run my story back in 2005 but was told by people above him that they couldn't. They would lose "Exclusives" with new The X Factor brand and so I was dispensable. This was not fair on me, my family or the millions that voted. I was branded a bitter flop and the rest is history.

If you see this as a “rant”, or me being “bitter” and simply “moaning” then tabloid media has done it’s job.

You have stumbled upon the truth I hope you may share it before picking yourself up and moving on.

To all the great people on TWITTER I'll catch you soon. Thanks for the support. Really I mean that. www.stevebrookstein.com for music updates.

PS. any errors, I haven't checked for mistakes so sorry, couldn't be arsed!

A Lot Less Catchy but A Lot More Honest!

Yep, I'm on my high horse again today. If you know me by now I'm a straight talking guy who is fed up with some of the nonsense I see in the World, especially the propaganda in the media and today have I found a whopper!

As a new..ish Dad with a 3 year old it really matters to me what he drinks and eats and though he gets treats we try to avoid real junk food.

While in Wimbledon today I saw a promotions team setting a stand outside the station and getting ready to hand out FREE cans of Fanta. I couldn't help notice the marketing. They had a the slogan "More Fanta, Less Serious"

I was puzzled. What were they trying to suggest?

So I asked the girls giving out the cans what was in it? The first reply I got was "Orange." followed by, "It's Friday, we are giving it away it's fun."

So I tried again, "So, you are giving this drink away and don't know what's in it." The girls admitted they didn't know but it was fun and it was free.

I quickly worked out the marketing angle the company have gone with. By using "MORE" and "LESS" they are using key words that are used by more health conscious products. You know stuff like more vitamins and less fat? Fanta can't claim any health benefits and because Joe public skip reads and doesn't think they have simply replaced these words to twist the positive connotation of "more X and less Y" to "More Fanta Less Serious". The could hardly write "More crap less healthy"

It reminded me of the misleading Vauxhall advert that said "A Lifetime Warranty (or 100,000 miles)" A lifetime warranty if you are 80! ...and so the ASA made them change it to "A warranty can now last a lifetime." A lot less catchy but a lot more honest.

The nice men from the marketing company for Coca-Cola (makers of Fanta) can give out FREE crap and tell us "Come on, it's just a bit of fun. Have more sugar and sweeteners in the form of ASPARTAME and be less serious about the healthy stuff. " The 7 most sugar filled drinks.

"More Fanta Less Serious" Are they serious? I don't buy it.. but I did see a mother give her child a can of this junk drink.

Our Government tells us that they are concerned about obesity. Really concerned, it's a serious subject and if they are serious on tackling the nation's healthcare then for a start, how about warnings on fizzy drink cans just like on packets of cigarettes and stop this form of advertising?

IF YOU AGREE RETWEET THIS BLOG or even TELL YOUR LOCAL MP.

Innocent drinks are good for you and taste nice. << just an alternative that I enjoy.