Thursday 26 May 2011

Cheryl Cole - "The People's Princess" is back.

I felt compelled to write a brief blog because The X Factor spin doctors are hard at work re-branding Simon Cowell's Miracle Elixir and I'm afraid to say that people are buying it. The man himself has crossed the Atlantic to flog his wonderful life-changing snake oil to the land who invented the stuff.

I was amazed when I heard Cheryl Cole was going to judge in the USA. One thing the Americans do well is music. They have a rich history of artists. My top 10 favourite singers are all from the US. So for Simon to make a talent search that included in the judging panel a girl who quite frankly is not in the World's top 10,000 singers was bizarre. Cheryl Cole isn't even a well-known name in the US. More importantly they don't like people who mime and beat up black toilet attendants. This hair brain scheme now appears to be just a publicity stunt to reinvent the UK version of the show.

Cheryl had a terrible series last year. She kept Katie Wassiel over Gamu which upset a lot of the show's fans. She then decided not to vote and the judges manipulated the exit of another contestant. The hardcore X Factor fans wanted her out. Despite this and Cheryl's obvious lack of credentials for a US market, she is off to judge the best talent in the World? Nah, I don't buy it.

Meanwhile back home, Louis Walsh is to stay on despite his decline into a comical Dame. The guy is a clown but obviously a clown with access to Cowell's dark secret past.

Then we have the Dannii Minogue problem. Cowell had chosen Cole to be his beard and there was obvious tension with Dannii and Cole. Dannii was the most popular judge by far and yet she was allowed to go. Crazy? Nope, not if you have an ego the size of Cowell and it is his show. But Dannii knows what side her bread is buttered, Dannii won't rock the boat and say what happened...yet. She'll move onto her next gig and do another "tell all" book in a few years. This time it won't be about Sharon Osbourne.

Simon Cowell is King Spin. He plays the media game better than anyone but his track record doesn't match his own personal success. His show has dropped 4 of its 7 winners and the remaining 3 are far from safe bets for World domination. It was time for his quick getaway.

To leave The X Factor without a big change and reinventing the show wouldn't have worked. The show had peaked and it could only go down. Look at Britain's Got Talent.

If this huge change goes wrong no biggy. Remember the voting and the auto-tune scandals? It gives him the chance to say, "Sorry, we got it wrong, we will do what the public want...and we'll get X back." And when I say "X" I obviously don't mean myself, Shayne Ward, Leon Jackson or Joe McElderry.

The X Factor is and will always be about the judges. Welcome back Cheryl.









Sunday 22 May 2011

"Can't do the time, don't do the crime."

I made the front page of The Manchester Evening News over a court appearance last week. They managed to use "Judge" and "Simon Cowell" to promote a TV show. It also kicked another major dent in my public image.

This "X Factor flop" has made the papers yet again for the wrong reasons 7 years after my 15 minutes was up. However, only last December I was in Manchester doing a gig for The Mustard Tree Homeless Charity and when we really needed it, The Manchester Evening News showed much less interest.

I am often asked to discuss The X Factor and most times I decline but when I do respond I'm greeted with a cacophony of disgust at my anti-Cowell views. I've lost count of the number of times my name has been associated with "bitter" or "flop" by the tabloid media. I've complained to the Press Complaints Commission and have won more times than I've lost but it continues because the truth about my treatment is not wanted by the mainstream media who make a fortune from The X Factor gossip. "Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story." Who said that? Anyway...

On the 20th October last year I received a letter from Manchester Police saying that my car was in a "hit and run" on 9th October and could I provide details of the driver at the time of the offence. I spoke to my wife as to what we were doing that day. It so happened I was picking my wife up that morning from the train station as she was returning from a trip to Aberdeen. It was impossible that I drove from Manchester at 8.40am to Wimbledon for 11.30am and I knew I was at home. It wasn't my car.

I phoned Manchester Police (I provided a phone bill proving this call was made on the same day I received the letter). I told the Police that there is a mistake and it was not my car as I live in London. I was told to write a letter explaining that, which I did. I put it to the back on my mind content it was dealt with.

The rest of 2010 turned out to be a disaster. The next day I flew out to Cyprus for a gig and was due back a few days later so I could join my wife at a gig she was doing. My plane was delayed and I phoned her to tell her I couldn't make her gig and that I'd meet her at home.

We've never spoken about this, but Eileen was pregnant last year. You can guess where this is going. She told me that on the way to the gig she had started bleeding heavily. She was distraught, I was a mess because I couldn't be there for her. Eileen was half way through a show knowing that she had just lost her baby but she carried on singing. We would be apart for just a few hours more but it felt like a lifetime.

After a long evening at the hospital it was confirmed that we had lost our baby. I'm so proud of my wife at how she brave she was.

Before the haters say " why mention it now?" I mention it now because as it's 8 months ago it's easier for us to talk about and we have nothing to promote. No album, book or X Factor on TV. Nothing. I can't be accused of profiting from our loss.

Unfortunately, we had agreed to record a song ironically called "Don't Give Up" . It involved promotion throughout the whole of November and December. I found myself in yet another badly organised project. I really don't want to go into details but it wasn't what we needed at that time. I blame myself, we shouldn't have done it. To be fair, we should have just pulled out. We had good reason to, but at the time I guess it was a case of "The show must go on".

In January we arrived back home both mentally and physically exhausted. I had another X Factor season of tabloid abuse mocking me as a flop and a failure made worse by our personal grief. We had spent a long time apart from our two year old so it was a time for us to unwind. It was over, a new year had begun roll on 2011!

On the 1st of February I opened my post. To my astonishment I had two further letters from the police saying that I was due in court at the end of February for failure to give details of the driver. What??? I can't believe this.

I rang the court then the police. I had a long chat with a policeman who reassured me that this thing won't go to court and can I provide evidence that it wasn't my car. I emailed him my evidence and he emailed me back to leave it with him. I felt confident that the police were going to sort it out. (I provided emails and phone bills).

Three weeks later I received a letter saying I had been convicted.

To cut a really long story short (TOO LATE!!)

I went to Manchester to appeal in March. The prosecutor said that it would be wrong if I was found guilty of not providing details of a car that wasn't mine. The case was re-opened.

I went back to Manchester last week for the trial.

The judge listened to the evidence and said that I should have just filled in the form. Even though I had contacted the police on the day I received the letter and on TWO occasions policemen had told me that it wasn't necessary. I have also been informed that it isn't a legal requirement to fill in the form. The prosecutor at the trial said that she found it hard to believe that a policeman would tell me not to fill in the form. But it was the truth.

The judge said that 1000's of people fill in the form. He didn't make any reference to people who didn't fill in the form because it wasn't their car involved in the accident.

I was fined £550 and given 6 points. The Judge was call Finestein. You can't make this shit up.

On my way out I saw the policeman who was my point of contact. I felt angry that I had made every effort to contact the police and that I was accused of lying under oath about a policeman who had told me not to fill in the form.

I asked the policeman, "Do policemen ever tell people not to fill in the form?"

He said "Yes!"

So to recap, I called the police on the day I received the first letter, I called the police the day I received the following letters and even though it wasn't my car I am fined and given points. I wait to hear if I'll be prosecuted for the hit and run. I will be interested to see if The Manchester Evening News will report on this with the same amount of vigor.

I really don't think that this court case was in the public interest. I consider this sort of intrusion into my personal life frustrating and it's been very upsetting for my wife. Thank you for taking the time to read my side of events.

If you wish to keep up to date with my live work, my wife and I have a fan page that you can sign up to for updates. Thanks.

A powerful PR man once said to me, "Talk to the press and we'll bury you, I'd love to see you at parties in three years time but that won't happen if you talk." It took much longer but he was right.

*Grammar Nazis please excuse any mistakes as I haven't really checked this blog over.